Marriage math

118. the patience of my Man
119. even as I droop and turn to gray, my Man has eyes for me

This is marriage 2 for me; 1+1=2.  The first of the equation sprung from a heated college relationship, lasting 7+3 years; none of them very good.  

The subtraction started soon after the marriage, then accelerated to division, until I was so small that I could not see my way out .  By the time he left me I was almost to zerooooo.

Pictures on the wall of his girlfriend, others living in his wallet, frequent reminders of where I fit on his priority list, bringing up the end, almost at zero.  Ugly grew in me; over time rage ruled.  Subtraction has greatly reduced these two.  Thank God.

Some of my previous computations surface on occasion; usually self inflicted, exaggerations, minor subtraction imagined as division.  Man stands sturdy, undivided, adding himself to me; showing without having to say it, that our sum is greater than the parts. 

120. the miracle meeting of Man and me

If I write of our meeting I will see it and be grateful again.  July, 12+ years past.  Co-workers planning a cruise, trip to the Bahamas.  Should I like to come?  Not quite friends but more than acquaintances.  But then, wise woman, brings to work a stack of magazines.

The Good News is being preached in Tulsa, OK.  Is it possible the Good News there will be better than the Good News in Kirkland, WA?  The Baptist Church news of "you can never remarry", to God you are still married to that division math wizard.  "Unless he hit you, did he hit you?" Not in the literal sense, no.  "Well then, no remarriage for you. Sorry and all that."  29, no children, left for another.  How dare that man say that to me.  Where in the Book is that the unforgivable sin?

So I cancel out of the cruise and fly down to hear the better News.  Down South to the hot humid promises.

Loud AC hums as I get dressed, early morning to catch a bus, ride it alone to the coliseum (well of course there were other people on the bus-but not that I knew).  I join with roughly 2000 other seekers.  Why am I here?  File in, find a seat and sit.  A Bible lies on the seat next to me. 

Here comes the owner to claim his seat.  A Tulsa man, I like his hands.  Men and Women speak, songs are sung, offerings collected. Monday, Tuesday, each day of the week.  Was the News better?  I can't recall.

That Tulsa Man, he and I build the framework of a life together that week.  Engaged in the October chill.  We move me to Tulsa while most everyone else eats turkey in November.   Married in February, early Valentines. 

Here we are now.  Growth and regression, gain and loss, me cracking to be remade, him strong and steady.  2 boys grown in my tummy, 3 from afar.  They are, at times, quintuplets: 8,8,10,11,13.

This photo is almost a year old, the kiddos look different; the older folks are aging well.