Counting Kropps: What's so special about special needs?

Monday, April 11, 2011

What's so special about special needs?

What are special needs? What's so special? Do they (whoever came up with the term) really think I'm that stupid? these needs are exhausting, challenging, draining, unfair. Unfair needs. They are not special, these needs that drive the family.

141. hearing aids that survived a forgetful moment in the shower
142. refrigerator hum
143. a new purse from Goodwill, $3.99
144. time with my Man, priceless

People compliment me on my parenting, and I feel such shame. They don't really want to know what goes on between my ears. It takes God, every bit of my day. Maybe that's why I have this challenged son, so the I can more clearly see Him in my day to day. If He was not present, would T even survive?

When T ran ahead on a hike, ignoring our calls, and we found him walking along the top of a dam wall, 6" wide. Deep water on 1 side, 25' drop to rock on the other. My screaming at him to come back, him saying "me no fall". Take your pick you non-swimmer, drowning or dashing on rocks? Or when I catch T riding his bike out onto the street between parked cars, not looking, not hearing - do I suggest he speed up, cheer him on? Some days I feel that if I can just keep him alive we'll get through. He has little sense of self preservation.

We have a new plan for parenting T/Gifted one. These days I think Gifted is a misnomer, what was I thinking? Whishfully? Today his counselor comes for a home visit. We are re-arranging the boys so T has a room to himself, we have a list of expectations that are reasonable for this 13 year old son. I'm hoping for growth, improvement, life!

145. 2 dogs a dreaming
146. 3 cats a purring