Thursday, April 14, 2011

The little bits

Relationships are in the details.

148. new friends
149. old friends

In applying this truth to people in my life, I can clearly see that those people with whom I share details, the big and the little, are the same ones that I feel close to.  In relationships where the detail divulgence stopped, so did the closeness; if there were never details, there was never closeness to begin with.   And no matter how much I desire to know someone, if they don't share that desire it won't happen.  I can see this with my brother, a man that I do not know the details of, nor does he know mine; the same applies to my Dad.

Marriage is in the details. 

My relationship with God is in the details.  I can go to church every Sunday, but if I leave out the details of relationship building, I will not know Him.  It takes effort.  He wrote a Book, sent His Spirit to reside in me, came in flesh to walk the walk and show me the way to Eternity; what then is my role in relationship to Creator.  What is the clay to the Potter?

Lately my heart has been challenged to forge a relationship with my eldest son, T/Gifted.  We do not have relationship, because there are not enough details to build one on.  When I share with him he does not know the vocabulary or hear the words, and he simply does not share anything.  A stranger in our home.  Our adoption books and our counselor agree, we need to push this issue. 

At the dinner table each night we are now each sharing one new thing we learned during the day, and one emotion and what caused that emotion.  This is so hard for Gifted, especially when I added the rule that you can't just say "happy" and leave it at that. 


I have also assigned him the job of writing and illustrating his life story.  Most adoption experts believe this in extremely important, the adopted child has to deal with the anger, loss, sadness, good times and bad times that make up their history.  When I gave T this assignment the other night, his face turned to stone, he does not want to do it.  Fortunately his counselor will hold him accountable and help to set goals toward completion.  He has had a hard life: nursing his dying father, abuse from his first mother, hearing loss, hunger, sickness, abandonment, orphanage life.  That he can smile at all is a miracle, gift.

150. Tom's smile
151. pediatrician with a sense of humor
152. lightening flash and thunder boom
153. planting watermelon starts and tomato plants
154. cut flowers lasting longer than a week

155. flowers in yellow skirts

Philippians 4:4 (MSG)
Celebrate God all day, every day.  I mean revel in Him!

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