If joy only comes when there is no lack, illness, loss, empty cupboards, starving children, then joy would not be found in those living in such depravity, but Joy is found there.
If joy is a side effect of health, prosperity, materialism, well fed children, then the 1/3 majority of us should burst with excess joy.
Depression settles on me with no warning, no rhythm or invitation, it arrives without color or fanfare.
It just falls down
pushing hard my weak spots.
My shoulders struggle this week. Passover jubilation subdued, my footfalls heavy as we follow Him these 7 days of this Holy week.
I did not wish for darkness, I can't chase it away. I drag along in faith, knowing the depression will lift, as suddenly as it dropped.
I like those things that are explainable. Pain is not so vague, it has knowable cause. Depression just comes to my door and i am broken. and ashamed.
Those who have never known depression can't imagine its weight. There is no talking it away, no bribing it, eating it to oblivion, even praying does not seem effective in the moment - and it is in the moment when help is needed.
I am sorry, I tell my children, this too shall pass. And it does. Tender One is most swayed by my emotions, as my sails settle and the sun comes again, he lightens and comes back to us.
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