resolution

• A strong will, determination; The state of being resolute; A statement of intent, a vow; The act of discerning detail; The degree of fineness with which an image can be recorded or produced, often expressed as the number of pixels per unit of length (typically an inch); The number of pixels in ...the process of making distinguishable

New Year's Eve we all talked about what change we'd like most to see in ourselves at the end of 2012.  These desires ranged from wanting to be able to hold one's breathe longer, to wanting to emanate joy.  Mine was the joy, not the breathe holding. 

In looking at the definition of resolution I can see a process.  Make a vow, discern the details of change that it will take to succeed, work out the details in their smallest parts, make the change habit so that it is able to be seen by others. 

So in choosing joy I vow to be more joyful in my day to day living.  Just 3 letters, seems simple enough.  Yet upon examining the details I know that joy can only be had if I let go of selfishness, let go of preconceived ideas on how my day should flow, allow my family to function safely and experiment with learning and living in ways that let them find joy, let go of anger, slow down.  Ahh that's a key for me.  SLOW DOWN grasshoppa'! 

I move through the day like a bulldozer with a mission to rebuild 5 lives in 24 hours.  I need to be more like a red mini cooper convertible, sweet, cute, nice to look at, taking more trips to get my family from place to place, because of course we don't all fit in a mini cooper. 

My goal is joy.  To get there I will slow down.  Count the joy, just like Ann, just like I did in 2011, and maybe in 2012 I'll get closer to living in JOY.  I want it to be my default setting. 

On my own joy would be too hard to manage day to day; it's not my habit and never has been.  But if I can get out of the way and let God work through me, then I can find it.  I have faith.