knowing when to move on

As we prepare to move on from Boracay there is so much to reflect on.  Not everything needs to be said, some things have been alluded to, others have been spelled right out.

Prior to coming on mission I knew about many of the dangers, the book "Helping Without Hurting" is an excellent read if you are on mission; as Christ followers we are all on mission so now you have homework.

We had intended to stay for two years, or at least I had intended for us to stay two years, so the question asked is why are we leaving after one?  could there have been anything different that would have kept us here longer?  I don't think so.

My family and I are ready to move on and see what God has planned for us.  This is a small island, there is not very much to do here for a family that is used to hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, and enjoying 'city' things - you can only do so much beach.  If we 'go' again it will not be to a tiny island.

There is also a point at which you must look at the money you are spending just to live in a place and the good that money could be doing for those you now love.  Sending money to unknown people is very different from giving to people you have come to know and love - to see you finances used to change lives.  Careful here....this can become a pride issue.  I hope that we have remained humble as we share what God has only lent to us anyway.

I must also look at what our 'leadership' here tasked me with, could it be done by a native Filipino? am I taking someone's job?  Some of what I did needed a native English speaker to be done well, much of what I started out doing at the school should have been done by a Filipino.

It quickly became obvious that the mission and vision for the school did not line up with our beliefs about serving.  That is not to say that the school isn't doing good things - they are and many kids will get a good education from an amazing, obedient, diverse group of beautiful people.  I came with hopes of empowering people, not replacing them.   Fortunately we have been able to serve in a variety of ways; I don't feel like we have done damage.  We came thinking that the school served the poor on Boracay who would otherwise not be in school; it is a good school and some 'poor' kids go there, but there is tuition, book fees, uniforms, misc. fees that all add up to a cost more than many of the island's poor can afford. 

But now it is time to move on.  Advice to anyone planning to go on mission?  Get references from people who have served with the organization.  Find out if the organization has ever sent anyone home, 'fired them' so to speak, and if yes why?  and talk to those people.  Know if you will be serving, empowering, or replacing.  We came self funded, but if the organization is controlling your funding you need to know what happens to that money if you are sent home. Ask how your family will be treated.  Will you be included in outings? outreaches? short term team events?  Seems like a given that a family would be included in all of these things - do not assume anything.  Does the leadership you are under actually live in the area? 

And have a plan B.  If you are tied to an organization because of funding, you are stuck for the most part.  It may be possible to change groups after you arrive in a location, I know of one family in Haiti who did just that.  If you are self funded decide ahead of time what events or beliefs would cause you to leave an organization.  Can you just be in an area, serve unrelated to a 'group'?  That is what we would do if we were to do this again.  We would pick a spot on the map, learn about it, and go.  Then we would connect with community, schools, church, hospitals/clinics - wherever we could serve we would do so. 

This experience is not over for us, we will leave Boracay and go to a different island.  This summer we will return to the States, and settle in St. Louis where we have family, and we can afford a house!  Our boys have had amazing experiences.  As a family our time has been so blessed.  We would do it all over again, even the hurting icky parts - it has been worth it.  Time to have my Man home, time to be a family in ways most will never enjoy.  If you can go, GO.

Our goodbyes begin this weekend as people leave for the summer and return after we have gone.  Pray for our boys' hearts to be strong in the goodbyes.

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
 Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. 
 Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. 
  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
 Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. 
 Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. 
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  
It was never between you and them anyway.    
 – Found on Mother Teresa’s wall

 

I copied the above from the blog of a family who left Boracay the month we arrived.  It says it all so well.