It's berry good

156. strawberry picking in April
157. scent of strawberries in a warm car

Yo, EQ and I went strawberry picking today.  Star Farm is little, we passed it twice, but what they lack in big they make up for in berries. 



We each picked three boxes, it took about 15 minutes - the drive to Rockdale took 45 minutes, hmmm. 

Our favorite strawberry treat is:

Strawberry Ice

Make a simple syrup with 1 cup boiling water and 1 cup sugar. 

Fill your blender with berries, add 1/2 the syrup, puree.

Pour the mix into a 9X13 dish.

Fill the blender again, add the remaining syrup, puree.

Add to the 9X13 dish. 

Put the dish into your freezer, set the timer for 30 minutes.  Every 30 minutes scrape and stir the ice.  If you don't scrape and stir you will end up with a giant ice cube as opposed to a dish with a sorbet consistency.

158. red
159. T scoring a soccer goal
160. folks who say "y'all" - such a useful combo word, much more efficient than the wordy "all of you"

The little bits

Relationships are in the details.

148. new friends
149. old friends

In applying this truth to people in my life, I can clearly see that those people with whom I share details, the big and the little, are the same ones that I feel close to.  In relationships where the detail divulgence stopped, so did the closeness; if there were never details, there was never closeness to begin with.   And no matter how much I desire to know someone, if they don't share that desire it won't happen.  I can see this with my brother, a man that I do not know the details of, nor does he know mine; the same applies to my Dad.

Marriage is in the details. 

My relationship with God is in the details.  I can go to church every Sunday, but if I leave out the details of relationship building, I will not know Him.  It takes effort.  He wrote a Book, sent His Spirit to reside in me, came in flesh to walk the walk and show me the way to Eternity; what then is my role in relationship to Creator.  What is the clay to the Potter?

Lately my heart has been challenged to forge a relationship with my eldest son, T/Gifted.  We do not have relationship, because there are not enough details to build one on.  When I share with him he does not know the vocabulary or hear the words, and he simply does not share anything.  A stranger in our home.  Our adoption books and our counselor agree, we need to push this issue. 

At the dinner table each night we are now each sharing one new thing we learned during the day, and one emotion and what caused that emotion.  This is so hard for Gifted, especially when I added the rule that you can't just say "happy" and leave it at that. 

I have also assigned him the job of writing and illustrating his life story.  Most adoption experts believe this in extremely important, the adopted child has to deal with the anger, loss, sadness, good times and bad times that make up their history.  When I gave T this assignment the other night, his face turned to stone, he does not want to do it.  Fortunately his counselor will hold him accountable and help to set goals toward completion.  He has had a hard life: nursing his dying father, abuse from his first mother, hearing loss, hunger, sickness, abandonment, orphanage life.  That he can smile at all is a miracle, gift.

150. Tom's smile
151. pediatrician with a sense of humor
152. lightening flash and thunder boom
153. planting watermelon starts and tomato plants
154. cut flowers lasting longer than a week

155. flowers in yellow skirts

Philippians 4:4 (MSG)
Celebrate God all day, every day.  I mean revel in Him!

Ideas for your week

Two posts on one day?  Well yes, I have written lots in my journal but posted little.

Some new favorite sites:
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/poetry/index.html#
This above link is for poetry.  It's really fabulous.  We write lots of poems in our schooling at home.  The rules, tools and form page has all sorts of poetry help, from writing a cinquain, to a couplet.  We've written poems about how to pet a lion, what happens on the trampoline, about watches and time; my boys really like poetry - cool!

http://www.exploringnature.org/
This second site is about nature.  There are pages on how to draw things, matching games, word finds, habitats to color, a page on how long it takes various items of trash to rot. 

A really good, very funny read:
Mennonite in a Little Black Dress
by: Rhoda Janzen
This is a non-fiction memoir about a woman in her 40s who has returned to her Mennonite family after her husband leaves her for a guy he meets on gay.com.  Rhoda is a funny gal, if you read at all, you should read this book. 

Cooking idea =
order a pizza

Art idea:
Wrap duct tape backwards around your kid's wrist, so the sticky part is out, and not too tight.  Take a walk, collect little things that can be stuck to the tape (feathers, nuts, little rocks...), it's a nature bracelet. 

What's so special about special needs?

What are special needs?  What's so special?  Do they (whoever came up with the term) really think I'm that stupid?  these needs are exhausting, challenging, draining, unfair.  Unfair needs.  They are not special, these needs that drive the family.

141. hearing aids that survived a forgetful moment in the shower
142. refrigerator hum
143. a new purse from Goodwill, $3.99
144. time with my Man, priceless

People compliment me on my parenting, and I feel such shame.  They don't really want to know what goes on between my ears.  It takes God, every bit of my day.  Maybe that's why I have this challenged son, so the I can more clearly see Him in my day to day.  If He was not present, would T even survive?

When T ran ahead on a hike, ignoring our calls, and we found him walking along the top of a dam wall, 6" wide.  Deep water on 1 side, 25' drop to rock on the other.  My screaming at him to come back, him saying "me no fall".  Take your pick you non-swimmer, drowning or dashing on rocks?  Or when I catch T riding his bike out onto the street between parked cars, not looking, not hearing - do I suggest he speed up, cheer him on?  Some days I feel that if I can just keep him alive we'll get through.  He has little sense of self preservation. 

We have a new plan for parenting T/Gifted one.  These days I think Gifted is a misnomer, what was I thinking?  Whishfully?  Today his counselor comes for a home visit.  We are re-arranging the boys so T has a room to himself, we have a list of expectations that are reasonable for this 13 year old son.  I'm hoping for growth, improvement, life!

145. 2 dogs a dreaming
146. 3 cats a purring

Yo, the one who was bullied in school - go figure

Let them blow bubbles, yep, even in the car.

What is Number One up to?

Ah yes, flying a WalMart bag with his fishing pole!

Get yourself in for an exfoliating scrub - you deserve it!

147. shimmery bubbles

Proverbs 15:13

A glad heart makes a happy face;

a broken heart crushes the spirit.



It's a zoo

I have mixed feeling about zoos.  On the one hand I think that people who have seen and looked into the eyes of an animal are more likely to care about that animal's future, on the other hand born to be wild animals kept in enclosures is the pits.  And if you happen to be a zoo animal in the majority of this world's countries, you live in a little cage. 

134. the deep rumble of lion contentment
135. finding a probably poisonous snake
136. boys who love their Grandma
137. Grandmas

Grandma came to town this past week, we went to the zoo.  Now the Austin Zoo is unique, the animals are all rescue or rehab animals; I like that, didn't mind paying to visit these critters. 

I would name this guy "Grandpa",  not any reflection on grandpas I know, but he was a grandpa type.

This fellow would be "Fang", it's obvious why.



There were many animals at the zoo (from wolves to monkeys to Bengal tigers), their enclosures were great, my photos don't do it justice.  If you get to Austin, visit the zoo, tell Fang "hello". 

138. pigs, I really love pigs

I kept my three public school kiddos home for two days, that is inexcusable here in TX, but we all had such fun. 

We also took Grandma to eat at a Southern restaurant, Louisiana Gumbo.  Wow, great food.  Ethan had the alligator, no kidding.  I was hoping for a slab of alligator on his plate, what he got looked like popcorn chicken, he loved it. 

Our personal dining server woman was awesome!  She brought us a crayfish so the kids could get up close and personal with a crustacean. 

139. 5 boys that can be taken out to eat and I don't crawl under the table
140. occasionally over-eating

"It all comes of eating too much", said Rabbit stearnly.  "I thought at the time", said Rabbit, "only I didn't like to say anything, that one of us was eating too much," said Rabbit, "and I knew it wasn't me," he said.   This to Pooh who is stuck in Rabbits going out door after polishing off the honey. 



Keep it slow

What is the cost of hurry?  Is there gain?
I have slowed down these past few years, due to age or wisdom I certainly don't know, but it is a good thing.  I don't hurry on the road, I try very hard not to hurry my boys.

Reminding myself of God's timing; what He keeps me from and saves me for.  In His rhythm my timing is perfection, not offbeat tuba or annoying piccolo out of time and place. 

131-133. time to play and get dirty, climb trees, and build slime forts

There are moments of hurry, but I work to reduce even those.   Usually Gifted is last, always lagging.  I have been trying to go slower than him.  "Don't be last, aim for first!"  Is there damage in those words? The frustration behind them is certainly not kind.  By placing myself last, he's a step ahead.  Man noticed the change, "seems to me you're last these days."  "Mmmm", I don't explain my new tactic.  I struggle to find ways to help Gifted; and have to acknowledge that nothing may work. 

Will our family fall into orbit around him or will he forever be catching up?

This eldest son, just turned 13, is the most childish of our 5.  I vacilate between urging him to grow up, act his 13 years, or leaving him be.  I worry that T left alone will stay like this forever, despite his changing body.  His disobedience is sly; he studied well the orphanage skills of survival.  Using his hearing loss as excuse, again and again, "it's too hard!" is his lament.  He is unmotivated.  His habits are fairly fixed. 

I try to inspire him, share with him, engage him, but he remains unknown to me.  How do we build a relationship with a teenage boy who has little communication and says it's all too hard? 

His vocabulary is limited.  He never learned to hear, what to listen to, what to ignore; how to ask a question, how to answer a question.  Now with hearing aids these past 16 months, the growth seems to measure so small on the chart I create in my mind, a chart of comparison. 

I pray for guidance.  God put him here, in Him is the help we need.  I see that I can't go wrong in pursuing Gifted, I can't imagine regret down that road.  But if I let it go, give up, I will leave valleys that only regret can fill. 

Man mumbles in his mustache, brothers get frustrated at repeating themselves again and again, school mates can't connect.  He doesn't want to learn sign.  It comes to me; poor substitute for an architect, but I will attempt to design a bridge to this son.

Ideas for your week

We have been watching Little House on the Prairie, rented from the library.  The boys love this show, I even like it.  I didn't watch it at home when I was a kid, I think I probably saw it at other homes a few times, but that's about all I recall. 

The series is a great way to introduce a variety of topics to your kids.  The history of the US is the obvious biggy.  The history of cars, of public schools, schools for the blind, homesteading.  The history of fashion might be just the interesting topic your kiddos need to learn about years past.  The 5th season deals with racial topics.  Family dynamics, love that Nellie girl!

There are some great sites to help with learning about the Little House books, series and author.

http://lauralittlehouseontheprairie.blogspot.com/2008_04_01_archive.html

The above site has a very good timeline.  My boys calculated how old Laura was at different points in history, like how old was she when Coke was invented?

127. the internet, just the good stuff, thank you
128. tree reflections in glass
129. the freedom of having a car
130. basset hound ears

Kitchen math:

Make a list of items for your child to find in the kitchen.  Then have your child write down or collect the items that match the description you give.  For example:
2 lbs (find an item that weighs 2 lbs)
12oz
15g sugar (find an item with 15g of sugar)

How can you estimate the weight of this apple?  (They need to find an item with the weight listed that is close in weight to the apple, be sure they balance the items with each hand, things usually feel heavier in one hand than the other.)

Set out a bowl of dried peas or lentils or rice, along with measuring cups and spoons.  Have them calculate how many tablespoons in 1 cup? how many 1/3cups in 2 cups? you get the idea. 

Feed your stomach.

Taco Salad
To a plate of tortilla chips add:
chopped lettuce
onion
tomatoes
black beans (or whatever your favorite bean is)
Top it all with salsa.  It's easy, healthy, low in the bad stuff, and yummy!

Go outside with your kids today.  Don't be like Kanga.

"I think not today, dear. Another day."
"Tomorrow?" said Roo hopefully.
"We'll see," said Kanga
"You're always seeing, and nothing ever happens," said Roo sadly.

Growing things

121. a really good orange
122. crisp sweet fuji apples
123. cinnamon toast smell
124. a seed, filled with promise

Seeds, seeds to sow daily.  My fields are 5, five in a row boys. 

Each seed has its own body (1Cor. 15:37).  The seed that's planted won't look the same at harvest time.  An apple seed has the code for an apple tree written in it.  God gives me seeds to sow, seeds of time, friendship, knowledge, money.  What comes out won't look much like what I put in.  There's mystery at work there. 

Texas kicks off spring with a wildflower party.  They pop up everywhere, seeds planted by birds, shoes, animals.  I won't let Man mow our backyard because there are so many things coming up that clearly aren't grass; they might be flowers! 

Free beauty from a seed dropped in a bird turd.  That is a wonderful turn of events.  Such a switch from pooh on the windshield, no gift at all. 

125. purple iris found on a day when we were lost and I was getting grumpy
126. little corn, big plans

If I had the power of my words today, what would my day look like?

Marriage math

118. the patience of my Man
119. even as I droop and turn to gray, my Man has eyes for me

This is marriage 2 for me; 1+1=2.  The first of the equation sprung from a heated college relationship, lasting 7+3 years; none of them very good.  

The subtraction started soon after the marriage, then accelerated to division, until I was so small that I could not see my way out .  By the time he left me I was almost to zerooooo.

Pictures on the wall of his girlfriend, others living in his wallet, frequent reminders of where I fit on his priority list, bringing up the end, almost at zero.  Ugly grew in me; over time rage ruled.  Subtraction has greatly reduced these two.  Thank God.

Some of my previous computations surface on occasion; usually self inflicted, exaggerations, minor subtraction imagined as division.  Man stands sturdy, undivided, adding himself to me; showing without having to say it, that our sum is greater than the parts. 

120. the miracle meeting of Man and me

If I write of our meeting I will see it and be grateful again.  July, 12+ years past.  Co-workers planning a cruise, trip to the Bahamas.  Should I like to come?  Not quite friends but more than acquaintances.  But then, wise woman, brings to work a stack of magazines.

The Good News is being preached in Tulsa, OK.  Is it possible the Good News there will be better than the Good News in Kirkland, WA?  The Baptist Church news of "you can never remarry", to God you are still married to that division math wizard.  "Unless he hit you, did he hit you?" Not in the literal sense, no.  "Well then, no remarriage for you. Sorry and all that."  29, no children, left for another.  How dare that man say that to me.  Where in the Book is that the unforgivable sin?

So I cancel out of the cruise and fly down to hear the better News.  Down South to the hot humid promises.

Loud AC hums as I get dressed, early morning to catch a bus, ride it alone to the coliseum (well of course there were other people on the bus-but not that I knew).  I join with roughly 2000 other seekers.  Why am I here?  File in, find a seat and sit.  A Bible lies on the seat next to me. 

Here comes the owner to claim his seat.  A Tulsa man, I like his hands.  Men and Women speak, songs are sung, offerings collected. Monday, Tuesday, each day of the week.  Was the News better?  I can't recall.

That Tulsa Man, he and I build the framework of a life together that week.  Engaged in the October chill.  We move me to Tulsa while most everyone else eats turkey in November.   Married in February, early Valentines. 

Here we are now.  Growth and regression, gain and loss, me cracking to be remade, him strong and steady.  2 boys grown in my tummy, 3 from afar.  They are, at times, quintuplets: 8,8,10,11,13.

This photo is almost a year old, the kiddos look different; the older folks are aging well.

New eyes

112. a walk in the park
113. big catfish feeding in the river - boy delight

114. breastfeeding mamas
115. tree buds bursting lime green
116. spastic golden retrievers

I need eyes to see my life from an impoverished perspective; from poverty, loss, illness, refugee camp status, abandoned.  Then I would look with wonder at all that I have.

Is that truly what it would take?  How shaming.  I pray that naming my riches will give them solid edges.  To honor the many mothers of the world who find joy in the little that they have, I must see the joy in my bounty.

Replace this habit of doubt with one of thanksgiving, won't that clear my vision.  With the thanks of a child?  But isn't the Kingdom of Heaven for such as these?  So blessedly simply, it really does not need to be unraveled. 

If thankfulness precedes joy, and fullness of joy is the promise, joy in Him is our reward, don't I want to chase that daily?

117. Our missional group, aka: the group of folks from church that we are on mission with. An odd mix, like finding 'q's and 'z's and 'f's all in the same word.  God put us wonderfully together.

I pray that you go out with the Gospel of Peace on your feet today.

Ideas for your week

107. butterflies - yellow, orange, black, purple/blue/black
108. wild onions under foot
109. woodpecker rhythm
110. Grandma's tea cups

Feed your body:
Salad ideas for lunch.

Lentil salad (a complete lunch with protein, and it's good!)
Cook up your lentils.  1 cup dry lentils in about 3 cups of water for about 20 minutes, until tender.  Drain.  Let cool.
To cool lentils add olive oil, chopped purple onion, chopped tomatoes.  Drizzle with red wine vinegar to taste, add salt and pepper.  Chill,  you and the lentils.  Serve by the scoop over a bed of lettuce.

Chicks love Apple
Leftover chicken.  I know, it's hard to have leftover chicken, you just have to plan.  When your teen makes a grab for that last piece of chicken, growl at him.
Remove meat from the bone.
Chop up an apple.
To a bed of lettuce add the chicken meat, chopped apple, raisins if you like them.   Dress with your favorite dressing, top with salt and pepper, or not.  Top with nuts, or not.  See how flexible I am?

Feed your brain:

The PBS series on the Amish consists of 6 YouTube videos, each about 10 minutes long.  It is really good.  I've always joked that I was meant to be Amish, without really knowing what I was talking about.  The family shown in these videos was inspiring to me.  You have to watch all 6 to see how God has really worked in their lives.  It's beautiful. 

Art time:

Paint with your toes.  Get big paper, or open up a cereal box all the way or other cardboard box.  Your kids will love this, so will you.  Do this outside near a hose, or in the bathroom for easy clean up.  Use washable paints, uh duh.

Free typing lessons online - especially for the kiddos:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/typing/

111.  time to do things at a leisurely pace

Time is a gift I must allow my boys to devour at will as they apply themselves to a task, be it math, legos, puzzles, or getting that photo just right. 

Delicious, savory time, time well spent, invested time.  Chopped to bits in the traditional classroom time.

This weekend we took a Sunday drive on Saturday.  For dinner we found a funky outdoor cafe.  Here are some pics my boys took.  I love how they are experimenting with space and color.

Enjoy your day!

Prayers and thanks

Luke 10 vs. 27
The man answered " 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.' And, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "

Who are your neighbors?  I've been reading books on Islam lately, trying to understand that neighbor group that numbers in the millions. 

Nine Parts of Desire by Geraldine Brooks is the book I've found to be the most insightful and helpful.   My cat, Bailey, would agree:

On my knees, trying to pray.  Cat purrs, rubs against me, Tender walks in "Watcha doin'?"  Trying to pray.  "'Bout what?"  Well, I just wondered if God had anything He wanted to tell me.  "Okay."  Out he goes, door left open. 

Try again, but I can't seem to pray over or through boy chatter in the house.  Why do I need quiet?  Lack of discipline, I guess.  No wonder God wakes me up in the dark house, all quiet hours to talk with Him.  I want to pray on the spot, anywhere and to listen.  I can't imagine Paul in prison having any quiet at all.

96. train horn blowing
97. honeysuckle
98. ripe mango
99. birds at the feeder
100. purple headed finch
101. watching boys watching birds

I've been remade, reborn in Him.  God looks at me and sees Himself man flesh perfection.  Why does my looking get so distorted?  Bifocals?  I look down and see what's earthly, look up and see distant Good?  When will my vision be clear, a Heavenly clear?  I want to see my kids with Jesus eyes.  They are in His image, as am I.  They should fill me with wonder more often. 

Slow down, wonder at my kids; they are worth my awe.

They sure know how to have fun!  
Out of order:
a. in the right line but in the wrong place
b. temporarily broken
c. as per the judge
d. all of the above

I continue on towards the fix= glue of counting gifts.

102. pink cake
103. clouds racing
104. girls collecting sow bugs "can we have yours?"
105. stream sounds
106. boys herding fish

Our Day

For music accompaniment I suggest you click on either the Coconut song, or Brother Iz singing Over the Rainbow.

All of what I've written has happened in the past few months, I am copying it from my journals; but today I'm putting right where it belongs, here.  Right here.  It has been a wonderful day!

My cat, Elliot, went missing last night.  He is about 15 years old, mostly deaf, old, older than his 15 years.  He went out last night and did  not come in.  Usually he goes out, lays on the trampoline for a while, then comes in.
This morning he was still gone.  Still gone at noon.  After lunch Number One went out to look in the culverts for him, and found him!  Now, from the culverts run tunnels, small tunnels; too small for my shoulders tunnels.  But Yo is small and he was up to the rescue - yeah, my shy boy animal lover had a rescue attempt today that was a success!  I'm so proud of him.

Elliot will only drink from the sink; he was very thirsty!  After food and libation he sacked out on Man's chair. 

After Rescue Elliot Mission 001, we headed to the park.  This park is an all wooden structure, built like a castle. 

This pic is not from today, today the sun is out, the park is packed with spring break kids, and it's hot, heavenly hot!  The park is twice as big as the pic makes it look.

88. our missional group
89. crumbs in the butter - how great to even have butter!
90. goodbye kisses through toothpaste
91. clear to the bottom river water
92. frizzy black spunky doo
93. sun fish flashing
94. cannon balls into the river

We met my beautiful friends A and M there, along with their broods.  After the park I took my boys to the river - that's how we role, get hot and sweaty, find a river!

Yeah, this is where we live.  I still consider myself a recovering Washingtonian; I have great pictures from Washington, I don't need to live there anymore. 

Psalm 19 vs 1-4
The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.
They speak without a sound or word;
their voice is never heard.
Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
and their words to all the world.

At about 5:00 we headed home for burritos - a food that all 7 of us love!

At the park I had a cookie conversation with my gal friends.  I'm posting a few favorites here for their benefits; you, dear reader are welcome to these as well.
I don't have pics right now.  For Lent we gave up sweet treats, so I'm not making cookies. 

95. cookies

No Bake Oatmeal Cookies
1/2 cup butter
2 cups sugar
3 Tbl. cocoa
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup nut butter
3 cups oatmeal
Melt butter in pan, add sugar, cocoa and milk.  Stir over med. heat.  When it starts to bubble stir and bubble for 1 minute.  Remove from heat, add vanilla and nut butter.
Stir in oatmeal.  Drop by spoonfuls onto wax paper.  Cool

Soda Cracker Cookies
Heat oven to 400
Cover cookie sheet with foil, and bring the foil up the edges.  Spray with cooking oil.  Cover foil with one layer of soda crackers, about 40 of them.  Boil 1 cup butter, 1 cup brown sugar, for 3 minutes, pour over crackers.  Put in the oven for about 5 minutes, until the cookies float.  Remove from oven, sprinkle chocolate chips or butterscotch chips over, use a cup or two.  Let the chips melt a bit, then spread them with a spatula.  Sprinkle with chopped nuts if you like.  When cool, cut into squares, or break.  Store in fridge.

This one's not a cookie, but it's a great cake for snacking on:

Oatmeal Cake
1 3/4 cups boiling water
1 1/2 cups quick cooking oats
1 3/4 cups flour - I use 1 cup unbleached white and 3/4 whole wheat
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg
3/4 cup butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
3 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
In small bowl mix boiling water and oats, stir with a fork.  Let sit.
Preheat oven to 350. Grease 9x13 pan
In large bowl mix butter and sugars.  Add eggs, beat well.  Add vanilla.
Add water and oat mixture, mix in.
Beat in the rest of the dry ingredients.

Bake 50 minutes

Topping (optional)
5 Tbl. butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup shredded coconut
3/4 cup chopped nuts
1 egg
5 Tbl. milk
Combine all ingredients.

Spread topping over hot cake.  Return to oven for 10 minutes.  Cool and eat!
Both of my Grandma's made this cake.  They were smart ladies and new what was good for me!